How can I cut this wedding guest list down? Why are we spending so much money? Questions of a bride to be!
A bride can be intimidated into a much larger wedding guest list than her handbag desires when listening to parents, friends, family, etc.
I am going to give a very simple suggestion for combating this.
I am not married, but I’ve been engaged before. Several of the people who were acknowledged at the time of that engagement due to current associations ( work, church, civic, social) are no longer relevant now. I thought to myself when looking at that old list, why would I send an obligatory invite to someone that would not speak to me ever again if the association (i.e. job) was removed from our lives. This was my epiphany, do with it what you will!
You could always do what my friend did and just have a destination or out of town (your home town that is) wedding. That’s an easy way to cut down on numbers all together.
If you make the Wedding Guest List cut, govern yourself accordingly….
- RSVP (“répondez, s’il vous plaît”) means Please Reply, so let’s do this!
- When you RSVP, Don’t call and ask for more RSVPs than you were allotted on the invite or worse, just show up with extra people.
- Don’t bring gifts (other than money) that are not on the registry & that you know you wouldn’t want.
- Be on time for the wedding!
- Please leave your crying babies at home.
- Don’t take cell phone pictures during the wedding with your flash on and mess up the professional photographer’s mojo.
- If the program says remain seated when the bride comes down the aisle, don’t stand anyway.
- If you are asked to be in the bridal party and you can’t afford or are unwilling to sacrifice the funds to meet the needs of the wedding attire, please decline on the spot and not at the last minute.
- As a 35 year old lady that is not married yet, I have to speak for the single ladies, please don’t put your hands on us demanding we go try to catch the bouquet. We know we’re single, we will go out there if we want, THANK YOU 🙂 !
- Before you jump on Facebook (social media) posting the mediocre photo of the bride that you took with your cell phone, ask yourself if that is the image you’d want of your own wedding being posted on social media. (Tip for brides/grooms: Edit your posting setting on the wedding day, so you can approve pictures/posts. At least then you can determine what the first images are that YOUR network will see.) This is an appropriate post…
The Bride & Groom are not getting off so easily! Before you ride off into marital bliss…
- If you are going to have the bridal party arrive ridiculously early, please provide snacks or a meal in the waiting quarters.
- Don’t start late or early! I got placed in an overflow room at an out of town wedding because the wedding director was being super anal. I was 15 minutes early and super ticked about that over flow experience.
- Speaking of over flow, try to choose a venue/church that will accommodate ALL of your guests.
- I don’t like waiting on the bridal party to take pictures without any food or entertainment. If you can’t afford the cocktail hour, make an entertaining video about your relationship. Please help us pass the time. (Tip from my BFF – She always goes to purchase the wedding gift in-between the wedding and reception).
- If I get any invitation to a wedding that is not through snail mail, I’m not coming, PERIOD!
- Make-up and hair do requirements (I know this is controversial) are the worse & completely annoying. I want to look MY best. Everything is not suitable for everyone. Look at all the different looks in this photo.
When Your Feet Start to Hurt - Please screen your toasts for the reception if you pick someone that is less than capable of writing an appropriate toast.
- Please don’t budget cut with programs (they’re inexpensive), I like to know what’s going on and who is who in the bridal party.
- Save money on the useless favors.
- There is no need to make someone purchase look alike shoes for a floor length bridesmaid dress. (Tip – Bridesmaids dresses with pockets are everything! I had my keys, cell phone, and lipstick with me on this day…)
Disclaimer: I am not talking about anyone in particular. This is years of attending and being in weddings speaking.
Yours in Healthy, Active, & Prosperous Lifestyles,
Rx Fitness Lady wants to know…
- Will you attend a wedding without an invitation?
- What are you wedding pet peeves?
- How did you cut your guest list?
- Do you feel obligated to invite coworkers to special events?
Rx Fitness Lady
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Great article! My pet peeve is receiving a,wedding/reception invitation for 1 when you know I am married. If my husband can’t be included on the guest list, don’t invite me.
Yes, that’s not the way to cut the guest list at all.
Love it. All this is so true. And you are soooo correct about the brides maids dresses with pockets.
That was my first one and I was like, why didn’t someone think of this eons ago!
This article was EVERYTHING!!!!! That guest list thing, I had to screenshot and send to my best friend who’s also engaged and who’s wrecking her brain because she’s scared to hurt people’s feelings. Thank you Joi!!!!!
You are most welcome Ciara! Thanks for being a consistent reader! I’m glad you liked this one.
I would never go to anyone’s wedding without an invitation. I also want a handwritten thank-you note not a computer-generated one that’s given to everyone. Mainly because I don’t computer generate my gift.
Lol! I can’t remember if I’ve gotten a computer generated one before. That would be lazy.
Attending a wedding without an invite is so rude and thoughtless. I have heard over the years, “I am going anyway!” That is there special day. If you are not invited do not go period!
Pet peeve when a person RSVP and decides not to come. Then the excuse is always, “they decided to do something they wanted to do.” Once again RUDE, the couple paid for your chair cover, food to eat, etc, possibly spending 40.00 on you and you don’t show up.
Then if you are a wedding participant, brides please stop making us buy shoes we will never wear again. I was in a wedding before and I could barely walk down the aisle because my heels were too high. Lol… Like Dr. Jones said if it is floor length it does not matter.
Joi this is a great article and people should read this because it happens too often.
I can’t with those high heels! That is the most uncomfortable situation to stand during nuptials in uncomfortable shoes. I’m glad you liked the post Jimese. Thanks for commenting.
I’m not coming to a wedding if you don’t send an invitation in the mail. Please don’t send me an e-vite for a wedding. I also have to say that in general, gifts purchased from the registry are more likely to be actually used and appreciated. Of all the gifts I got that weren’t on my registry only two are used and truly appreciated. One is an original art piece from an artist friend. The other a set of the best everyday drinking glasses I’ve ever had, but have never seen anywhere before or since.
Wow, confirmation to shop from registry. Pointless participating in the collection of junk for your loved ones!
I never imagined I would read an article on this, but I really found it enlightening, interesting, and humorous!
I bet that young man was proud to have you as his partner at the wedding.
I think all former division 1 basketball players should be disqualified from rebounding the bouquet 🙂
Good deal Dr. J, glad you liked! Lucky for me, I was a DII player and that bouquet business is bogus. I caught one last year and still patiently waiting, lol!
Would you like to come to my wedding? SERIOUSLY. We invited like 350 people, so what’s one more? LOL! We invited that many out of “courtesy” but honestly, a lot of those courtesy invites are turning into YES RSVPs so we are already over the amount of people we told the venue we were going to have! HA! I blame my fiance’s mother who is friends with literally EVERY single person on the face of the planet, perhaps you know her? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh well, it will be a great time and I mean, I guess I am honored that so many people want to come, right?!
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Yes that’s an honor but I never ppl invited more guests than expected to RSVP! That’s dusky business there boo. Good luck! I know you are going to simply stunning!
omg these are so brilliant. I have so much to say but I will say that I did not screen my ex-bff’s toast and it was a simple disaster. She had NOTHING planned she went off the top of her head and I was deeply embarrassed. Screening toasts is a SERIOUS must!
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Uh oh, hope that’s not what got her the ax, lol!
LOL! I think we budgeted very well for my 1997 wedding. I wonder what it would cost today. Times have changed so much. It was a good experience all around. One pet peeve I have is one of the groomsmans girlfriend coming in late. She wasn’t invited. I don’t even remember her being there but on the wedding video someone lets her in and you see this bright spot in the back of the church letting light in. How are you going to come late AND you weren’t invited. But I guess the wedding part isn’t a big deal. No one should show up at the reception uninvited for sure. My dad and I both worked for Blue Cross so we did have a lot of co-workers there. There were more co-workers than family. So really it all worked out since my husbands family is from Louisiana and mine from Pennsylvania, we had no more than 15 family members there on each side. It was wonderful seeing the church full after being disappointed about certain family members not coming for the wedding when they were pretty much given save the date notice. If I had to attended a wedding today I might have to ask about the shoes and do some negotiating. LOL to the your feet hurt picture. My ring bearer sat down on the floor during our ceremony. He was five. He said his feet hurt. LOL!
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Kids always steal the show with their humorous antics. Gotta love those classic moments. I never thought about it from your perspective. I’m such a home body, couldn’t imagine getting married away from home. Thanks for sharing! I totally felt your sentiments. I’d appreciate witnesses as well especially if I’d had bigger expectations from family.