I’ve been asked several times to blog more about the black women in relationships. Ya know since this blog is total health physical & mental.
In case you haven’t noticed, there is no husband featured on this blog. I am sure the Lord will bless me one day but in the meantime, keeping with the theme this month, today’s Love topic is….
- Cut Communication totally
- Take down the pictures and box up the memories
- Start a passionate project to channel your energy
- Exercise regularly to release endorphins and feelings of euphoria
- Get out of the house
- Spend time with friends and family
- Delete them from Facebook/Social Media and hide the people from your timeline that might be displaying images of what they are doing
- Join a chat group
- The age old – Get you a new boo!
BONUS – Just a bit more specificity on that regular exercise…
Take my class! I will help you KIA their arse!!!!
Yours in Healthy, Active, & Prosperous Lifestyles,
Rx Fitness Lady wants to know…
- When do you think it’s ok to communicate with an ex (How much time after the breakup)?
- What has helped you get over a relationship before?
- Do you agree or disagree with getting a new boo?
- Are you friends with exes on social networks? Why?
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Rx Fitness Lady
Greetings, I'm Joi, a Pharmacist with a passion for fitness & a community leader. I am the Creator & Senior Fitness Trainer of "In The Paint" Online Group Training Program. I teach BODYCOMBAT, BODYPUMP, Tabata Boot Camp, & serve as a mentor to young girls. My goal is to inspire people to live healthy, active, & prosperous lifestyles through practical blog posts deliveries. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram. ARE YOU WASTING TIME DIETING... Check out my book "Diets Are Dead Win Small With M.E.D.S., DO YOU WANT TO WORKOUT FROM HOME WITH LIVE ACCOUNTABILITY? Join #InThePaint #OneCommunity! You can view more posts, subscribe to stay tuned to latest updates & Shop all things Rx Fitness Lady at The Shoppes at Rx Fitness Lady.
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I think it all depends on your personality. Some people can handle communication, social media, staying in the same friend circles and/or a new boo…. but many people cannot. Gotta make sure those feelings are all in check so you don’t lose it down the road…. OR lose the new boo too! lol
Kimberly (Manifest Yourself) recently posted…Journey to Wellness// Week 1 T25 Results
I got rid of my ex by not speaking to him anymore and doing all types of stuff I should not have been doing trying to get him out of my mind and heart. It worked but after the fun I still wanted to get clarity and find out why. My need to know kills me sometimes.
Kita recently posted…Pawn Stars
good tips. I haven’t had to get over an ex in the age of social media (doesn’t that make me sound INSANELY old?!!!) BUT! I have seen what it does to my friends and it ain’t pretty!
Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama recently posted…7 Must Have Hasbro Toys in 2014! | Toy Fair New York 2014
I can’t imagine having to go through a breakup in today’s world of social media harassment! I’d have to go the route of cutting all communication off as well as deleting any social media communication. I’ve seen relationship statuses change all the time on FB! One day people are ‘engaged’ the next ‘it’s complicated.’ What does that even mean, lol!
The last time I had an ex was in college when there was so much co-mingling with frats and sororities and such. I always found it so hard to have to see an ex because of that. I like to cut ’em out and forget about them!
FitBritt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…Hunter Valley
I think it probably depends on the ex. I don’t think my husband is in touch with any of his…we used to exchange Christmas cards with one of mine that was a mutual friend. I don’t know where any of mine are. A lot of times it’s a recipe for disaster though, when people start looking them up on Facebook when their current relationship is a little rocky.
Michelle recently posted…Pasta with Salmon and Leeks {Quick and Easy Meals}
Way (way) back when I was dating, there wasn’t social media. Actually there weren’t even cell phones or digital cameras so it was easier to not have constant reminders of exes.
Now, I’m friends on FB with 3 of the guys that I dated (one for 5 years) but it doesn’t feel weird since clearly we have all moved on. (And, I asked Chris if it bothered him first)
Kim recently posted…The Marathon from a Spectator’s Point of View
Sweating is really the answer to so many things – ending relationships is certainly one of them! In fact, when I really started running in 2000 it was because I broke up with a guy I was dating for over 2 years. It was the best thing I could have done because look at what running has done for me!! Not to mention, I met my husband at the gym a few months later 🙂
Allie recently posted…The Rundown – Vermont Ski Week
I guess I am Facebook friends with a few exes. It’s just been so long (at least a decade for some) that I never declined their friend requests! Most are married with kids by now.
We don’t see each other in person.
I think it’s ok to get a new boo only after you’re over the first! I found that after a bad breakup, I’d have to know I was ok single to know I was ok with someone.
Time helped me in the past! Sadly. And I moved to a new place, made some new friends, redecorated my room. Changes. And total deletion of them from my life!
Tamara recently posted…Sunshine Feels Like Being Two.
Great post. Now hopefully I’ll never need it as I am happily married but I’m going to keep it in mind for girlfriends who go through “boy troubles”.
Wishing you a lovely week.
xoxo
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom recently posted…Prayer
Get you a new boo- Tell’em girl! lol!
Aishah @ Coffee, Love, Health recently posted…Feeling the Blues
Love this… I personally like to destroy the box of memories!… I agree with getting a new boo/rebound you just have to be careful not to transfer feelings and be sure to take some healing time first.
Toya recently posted…Make a little money while going to school!!!
I agree with Allie in that sweat helps heal a lot of things. I love the idea of a passionate project. Who knows? Maybe I would not have had the fire to throw into my business right now had I not been getting a divorce. It’s hard to say, but I am all for channeling that energy in a positive manner. And yes to social media cut offs. In the old days, there was none of that business. You just cut someone out and they were out. There was no having to deal with them in your Facebook or Twitter feed.
Ilene recently posted…Maybe This Could Be Big
Absolutely agree with cutting ties completely…and permanently. Nothing good ever came of holding onto an old flame. Nine times out of ten a true friendship just isn’t going to happen. And there’s no better cure for a broken heart than a good rebound relationship!
Leslie recently posted…{Listicles} They DO Love Me…Sometimes
I can’t even imagine having to get over an ex in this age of social media. Nope. I mean, you have mutual friends, they post stuff with him and the new female on facebook. That would be awful! LOL. I am however facebook friends with one of my ex’s. He’s married now too, and we were always friends so it works…most of the time. LOL
LaShawn recently posted…Black and White #mylifesphotos
I got over my jerk of ex by going shopping at the mall. That’s where I ran into my future husband. We went out to dinner that evening and the rest is history.
Yum Yucky recently posted…The Roach Motel of Home Fitness
all communication must be aborted! i believe the best way to get over an ex is to find someone else. true dat!!!
catherine gacad recently posted…How I Make Money Blogging
LOL. I’m friends on FB with some exes, but that’s it. Really wouldn’t want to be in face-to-face contact. Exercising is really a great way to begin the process of moving on. And a new boo is great, as long as the female is in a better place in which to make the new relationship work!
Alison recently posted…Ask Away Friday with Lisi P at Lisi’s Place
When I was 15 and 16 I thought getting over an ex involved locking yourself in your room for the entire summer and playing Leo Sayer records over and over. Honestly, after that I never had as much trouble getting over an ex. There’s usually a reason why things don’t work out. When the right person is in your life, you know it. 🙂
Carla recently posted…Heather Runs Disney
OMG! If you’re willing to listen to the most RIDICULOUS MAN STORY YOU HAVE EVER HEARD – feel free to email me. This is outrageously ridiculous and I am a HUGE BALL of weird emotions right now. I cannot tell if I am relived, if I am totally upset, if I should hide and fear for my life or what, but this situation is completely odd… And HOPEFULLY it’s over at this point, but with this person, I really don’t know!
GiGi Eats Celebrities recently posted…Academy Award Winning Appetizers
I think you should just cut communication with the X. I don’t think getting a new boo is the answer. Take time to be with yourself for a while. Learn what good and bad same from the relationship and why the bad overwhelmed the good. Learn what bad you did to influence the relationship to turn sour. Work on correcting those things before you move on or you are likely to repeat.
Always a challenging time in one’s life, for sure!
I do caution against using a new relationship as a band-aid too soon. And against starting one with someone who just ended one, cause you know what we do with used band-aids. .
Dr. J recently posted…Extreme Loneliness is Worse for Your Health Than Obesity
I saw a meme on FB recently that said something like, the reason he won’t leave you alone is because you keep answering his calls. So I definitely agree, if it wasn’t a healthy relationship and it wasn’t going anywhere, no need to keep talking. I am friends with some guys that I dated in high school but it wasn’t serious stuff. And I graduated almost 26 years ago. I did had to tell one guy to not message me privately, I’m married. Though all he was doing was saying good morning, he was trying to “get in”. I didn’t unfriend him just told him that and he msg’d back that he understood. I didn’t unfriend him but for whatever reason I got a new friend request from him, this time I declined it.
Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…The Kitchen Makeover – A Photo Story
I don’t have a lot of experience with exes since I’ve been with my husband since high school. But if that were not the case, I would probably hang out with friends more after a breakup and also take time for myself. No need to rush into a new relationship. I think that only complicates things. Remaining friends would depend on how the relationship ended.
Kimberly H. Smith recently posted…Rewind Repost: February 2014
Dang Joi, you’re hard on the ex! I have a wonderful relationship with my ex. I’m even pitching an article on the subject. You’re talking about deleting him from social media. Dang Gina! Lol. SN: If he was an a-hole he must be dealt with accordingly.
Andrea recently posted…5 Ways to Keep Your Blog from Morphing Into an Online Diary
I think the idea of sweating and getting involved in a passionate project is key. Focusing on yourself is one of the best ways – as it is win win. You feel better, you get better and then the better you will inevitably lead you to meeting a better boo:) Depending on why you broke up and who your ex is, and who you are will determine whether it’s healthy to still be friends. If you become a social media stalker, then I’d say cut it all out and really move on.
Leah Davidson recently posted…I am not an Imposter
I think depending on the person it could be difficult to stay in contact with an ex. When I divorced, unfortunately I could not cut off completely because of our daughters…LOL. I did however, keep the communication to a complete minimum. If it didn’t involve the girls the conversation was OVER. That sparked the beginning of my healthy living journey and yes…working out helped me tremendously!
Britton recently posted…Motivational Monday Fitness Check In: February
4th time’s a charm…(my 4th attempt to comment). I agree with all especially cutting all communication…at least initially. That is until a person takes your class, let off steam, get super fine AND get a new boo… Then they can resume communication. Lol.
Great list…
Hope recently posted…Action Expresses Priorities …blogging break
I personally don’t friend exes or connect with them on social media. I know some people are fine with it, but I’ve seen it also start problems in present relationships and marriages so, this could depend on the person. Anytime I’ve ever broken up with someone, I have always thought it was best to completely cut ties. I wouldn’t be opposed to saying hi in passing and doing a quick how are you doing convo with them at that point. I’m pretty “old school” so I honestly don’t really believe in “dating.” Right before my husband came along I gave that up so getting a new boo would be out of the question in my book. For me, when I was in Christianity (and how I see things even to this day), it was always about getting with my husband so I was never really a fan of long relationships. It’s funny because it was exactly how I thought it should be when I met hubby. He came into my life because he was looking for his wife. He talked to me in person where we met up at a gym and had a very long conversation that night and within 6 months we were married and the rest is history 🙂 I just don’t think it takes that long for people to know. Either it’s the one or it isn’t. Hubby told me he asked God about it and that was it. 🙂
Brittnei recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: 3 Years Ago Tomorrow….
How am I supposed to stop all contact with him? He’s the father of my son 🙁 We were together for four years and were engaged. He left me and found a new gf after a few weeks 🙁